Therapy for kids & teens:
an honest guide for parents.

If your kid says they're "fine" but you know something's off, or your teen has gotten quiet, this is what therapy actually looks like for ages 5 and up.

Most parents who come in aren't panicking. They're noticing something. A change in sleep. More meltdowns. A teen who used to share and now doesn't. They want to know if it's "big enough" for therapy. The honest answer is almost always yes, what you're noticing is worth taking seriously.

When kids need therapy, and when they don't

Not every rough patch needs a therapist. Most don't. But these patterns are worth taking seriously:

• Something's been different for a while. Sleep, eating, friends, mood, or school, something has changed for more than a couple of weeks.
• Big feelings showing up sideways. Meltdowns that don't match what set them off. Stomachaches with no medical cause. Calm at school but explosive at home.
• Pulling away. A kid who used to share is sharing less. A teen who used to come out of their room doesn't. They've stopped doing things they used to love.
• A loss they're still working through. Divorce, death, a move, a job change. Kids process loss on their own timeline, sometimes months later.
• Perfectionism that's costing them. Crying over homework. Refusing to try things they might fail. Talking to themselves more harshly than you ever would.
• A change you can't name but feel. Trust this. Parents are usually right when they sense something has shifted.

You don't have to wait for a crisis. Therapy can help before things get bad. Many families I see aren't in an emergency, they're getting ahead of it so their kid grows up with stronger tools.

How therapy looks at different ages

Ages 5–8

Little kids don't "talk about their problems." Their brains aren't ready for that yet. Therapy at this age looks like play, sand tray, art, stories, body-based games. The play is the work. Through play, kids show what they can't yet say.

The American Academy of Pediatrics agrees: play is how kids heal. Research at Zero to Three shows kids work through big feelings in play, the same way adults do through journaling.

Ages 9–12

Tweens are in the middle. Some sessions look like play, some look like real talk. They can name some feelings but still need help. I mix art, body check-ins, and conversation based on what works that week.

Ages 13–17

Teens get real talk, not worksheets. No "let's name your feelings on a wheel." The relationship is the real treatment, one adult who's not their parent or teacher, who listens without trying to fix or punish, often helps more than any single skill.

With teens, we often work on identity, perfectionism, social anxiety, family stuff, and the pressure of being a teen right now. That includes social media, school, and the world they're growing up in. The U.S. Surgeon General has shown how much harder it is to be a teen today.

How parents stay involved

The most common question I get: "Will I be left out?" The short answer is no. But your role looks a little different at different ages.

• Younger kids (5–10): I check in with you every 4–6 weeks. You'll know what we're working on, what I'm noticing, and what to try at home. The session itself stays between me and your kid, because that trust is part of how it works.
• Older kids & teens (11+): More privacy. I'll share themes, not word-for-word details. Safety always comes first. If anything is unsafe, you'll be told right away.

The first session for a kid is usually parent-only. You catch me up. We pick what we're working toward. Your child comes in after I know the bigger picture.

What to look for in a kid therapist

A few things matter more than the diplomas on the wall:

• Calm in their own body. Kids pick up on calm before they have words for it. A grounded therapist helps your child's body settle. An anxious one teaches your child the room isn't safe.
• Honest with parents. Skip anyone who talks in jargon or can't explain what they actually do in session.
• Willing to be wrong. Therapy with kids is teamwork. A good therapist adjusts when something isn't working.
• Truly affirming. Especially if your child is queer, neurodivergent, or any kind of minoritized identity. Your therapist needs to fully accept who they are. This isn't optional.

What about insurance?

We don't bill insurance directly. Sessions are $200 for 50 minutes. We can give you a monthly bill (called a superbill) to send to your insurance for out-of-network coverage. Many families choose to pay out of pocket so their child's records don't go into the insurance system.

If you're thinking about it

The 15-minute call is free and parent-only. Just a chance to talk about what you're seeing. No tests. No pressure. See more about how we work with kids and teens →